Romance may be desired and masturbation may even happen, but sex is not part of the attraction of a relationship. Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which people are not interested in being sexual with others. Despite a fair amount of progress we’ve made in terms of rights for and social acceptance of LGBTQIA people, coming out remains a really difficult process - and most people are woefully undereducated about asexuality, making it even harder for those who might want to come out. Or perhaps you’re right and your friend identifies as LGBTQIA (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning, intersex and intergender, and asexual and anonymous and ally). Perhaps he or she engages in a specific fetish that’s socially unacceptable, so keeps it very private for fear of being judged. For example, perhaps your friend is silently sexual online, be it with porn or real people. Naturally, people assume there’s something wrong with you if you choose this lifestyle since monogamous relationships have traditionally been set as the ideal for which everyone should strive.Īs a clinician, I remain surprised by and respectful of the variety and ingenuity of sexual expressions people enjoy, which is why neither you nor I - or anyone - can or should ever make assumptions about people’s sexuality, preferences and behavior.
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There’s stigma that surrounds single people - people who aren’t in relationships and aren’t seeking a partner. Image: StyleCaster Q: I think my friend’s asexual - should I let them know they can talk to me about it?Ī: First piece of advice: Don’t make assumptions.
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Eve also has answers for how to let a potentially asexual friend know you’re a safe space without forcing him or her to come out if she’s not ready.